I’m Annoyed by Your Wedding Binder…

You’re a big girl. You are old enough to get married. So why do you come into my place of business with what amounts to a glorified Trapper Keeper? It might as well have rainbows or unicorns on it. You know who you are.

I don’t have a problem with organization, or with binders per se. They can be very helpful. They keep all of your wedding detritus in one place and have neat little dividers to keep everything separate. What I do have a problem with is a very special kind of binder, and by extension the bride who accompanies it.

Let me describe it for you: It’s usually pretty colorful…most often pink (blech). It says something along the lines of “Sarah and Tom’s Wedding”, “Happily Ever After” or “He Asked, and She Said Yes!”. There are usually pictures of the couple snuggling in some retch-inducing way. It may have sparkles, glitter or stickers. It is precisely the kind of binder you’d have carried in sixth-grade, when you had your first big crush. You know, when you secretly wrote your first name with his last to see how it would be when you were married? That’s all fine and well in middle school, but for a grown woman it’s just gross.

Your wedding should symbolize a very adult commitment. It’s for better or worse (and believe me, marriage can throw you some frightful challenges). Marriage should not be something that you enter into with Disney Princess visions in your head. You don’t need to infantilize your future; in fact it should be a very serious prospect. It is supposed to be forever, and that’s a mighty long time if you’ve entered into something that’s wrong for you.

I believe in love, even the googly-eyed, lovey-dovey sickening version. I’m a romantic at heart, but I keep that saccharin shit to myself. By all means, create some sort of age-appropriate folder, notebook or binder to keep your wedding details straight. Tell your girlfriends all about your AMAZING fiance. Keep those memories in your heart, your head or better yet in your journal. Just leave it out of my sight and off your binder.

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4 Responses to I’m Annoyed by Your Wedding Binder…

  1. Caitlin says:

    Yes. I am annoyed by your wedding binder. I’m even more annoyed by your entire bridal party’s matching shirts/sashes/VOTING BALLOTS.

  2. Thanks for the comment, Caitlin! Glad to hear that it’s not only me…

  3. Ann says:

    Haha well said. I can’t stand those types of brides. They are the same type of girls you bombard us by their daily posts of how much they love their significant other..

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